Rant #1 To that Emotional Being in Me

My emotions are all over the place right now. All thanks to you and your indifference. Your immaturity and inability to put someone else's emotion in consideration. Because you are who you are right? and I should learn to accept you for the way that you are. This defensive, selfish, ignorant being that you are. You have thrived well in this world through sheer dumb luck or whatever the reason that made life decide that it should be on your side. To neglect, to go back on promises. These mean nothing to you anymore. Because it's different now.

Your needs have change and I am expected to follow with it. Was it a mistake to make myself so vulnerable to you? To put my self worth in the hands of a ever changing being, A being so charged by emotions that I am now charged with emotions. I wish I didn't change that much after finding you. I'm glad of some of the things that changed within me. But man, this emotional driven life I'm living sure takes a toll on everything. Shit hits the fan more than it should nowadays. Shit from unnecessary. irrelevant problems that wouldn't even exist in the first place if I were to kept my cool. What ever happened to the calm, collected part I had? It's beyond me now. Maybe it's so deeply rooted that I can't possibly dig it out anymore. Mistake? Regret? What is this I'm feeling? Does it even matter anymore?

I want to swear so bad. So damn bad. But I'm gonna count tens in my head till I find a new form of peace. I will not succumb to you. you emotional monster.

oh look how you've grown, 

oh look at the monster you've created