After thoughts of a pessimist
Do i consider myself a pessimist? I can't actually answer that though. It seems at different points in my life I have completely distinct outlooks on my life.
But currently, dark, wallowing energy seems to flow in me and the more I try to resist, it seems that I feed it more. My sorrow and negative emotions seem to be a cuisine for the monsters in me. It is scary and I am scared. Maybe this is what it's like to grow up? Maybe this is my rite of passage.
I sure hope I come out of this a better person because if I don't, it's so not worth it and I don't want to be like this forever. Maybe I need a wake up call? but is it still a wake up call if I make the call myself? Midnight thoughts that know no end. Feels like my emotions decided to take a detour and hop back to the time of my teenage years.
Geez, what a bust.
But currently, dark, wallowing energy seems to flow in me and the more I try to resist, it seems that I feed it more. My sorrow and negative emotions seem to be a cuisine for the monsters in me. It is scary and I am scared. Maybe this is what it's like to grow up? Maybe this is my rite of passage.
I sure hope I come out of this a better person because if I don't, it's so not worth it and I don't want to be like this forever. Maybe I need a wake up call? but is it still a wake up call if I make the call myself? Midnight thoughts that know no end. Feels like my emotions decided to take a detour and hop back to the time of my teenage years.
Geez, what a bust.
Incoherent thoughts
Irrelevant feelings
Inconsolable guilt
Life.Goes.On
My beacon of light
Please come to me
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