After thoughts of a pessimist

Do i consider myself a pessimist? I can't actually answer that though. It seems at different points in my life I have completely distinct outlooks on my life.

But currently, dark, wallowing energy seems to flow in me and the more I try to resist, it seems that I feed it more. My sorrow and negative emotions seem to be a cuisine for the monsters in me. It is scary and I  am scared. Maybe this is what it's like to grow up? Maybe this is my rite of passage.

I sure hope I come out of this a better person because if I don't, it's so not worth it and I don't want to be like this forever. Maybe I need a wake up call? but is it still a wake up call if I make the call myself? Midnight thoughts that know no end. Feels like my emotions decided to take a detour and hop back to the time of my teenage years.

Geez, what a bust.

Incoherent thoughts

Irrelevant feelings 

Inconsolable guilt

Life.Goes.On 





My beacon of light
Please come to me 

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